So it was the last game of the 2009/10 season, the last game before we have to spend our Saturdays with the wives or in Butler’s case looking for wife number 1 or in Tony’ case wife number 3. We were at home against Bengeo Reserves whom we had beaten 1-0 earlier in the season and with an expected crowd of 4 it was sure to be a good game.

As always with the final game of the season Matt let everyone play in their normal positions, but this wasn’t the normal County Hall 11 as many players were missing, some had gone away, some had just gone, some weren’t allowed out and some were shopping (see answers below for who’s who.).

Snails was back in goal sporting a swollen black eye after the Pilatesgate scandal. Darren White was left back sporting a swollen stomach after the sandwichgate scandal, Ben was right back sporting ginger hair after (yep you guessed it) gingergate scandal with Brooksey who was sporting a very tight top after the recent shrunkshirtgate scandal and Neil who had a limp after the gotroastedallgameagainstWestmillgate scandal.

Left midfield was Fluff who was making his first appearance since the IamMrAngrygate scandal, right was Manno who seemed unaffected by the IhavebigB***Sgate scandal, Lee was in the middle and thriving on his smallestplayerintheleaguegate scandal (bet you saw that coming) and Jeremy Ihave3yellowcardsin4gamesgate scandal. Upfront was Kofi (not sure I have enough time but will give it a go) Ihaveplayedupfrontfor2yearsandonlyscored1goalgate scandal and Steve Icouldbechallengingforthegoldenbootifididnthavethatbarranspellgate. Subs were Tiger who was injured and didn’t really want to come on so he was toooldtoplayfootballbutcantgiveitupyetgate, funny enough Matt was also caught up in the same scandal and wasn’t playing today. Right got all that, good.

County still had a good enough team out today to take the necessary 2 points and finish 4th in the league. The warm weather and hard ground meant our flowing 1 touch football was needed, we didn’t use it but it was needed.

The slow game suited County as the average age in the Bengeo team was almost as old as ours. The defence were playing well and the midfield were starting to dominate and Steve and Barry were running the Bengeo defence ragged.

After 20 mins county went 1-0 up, after a great team move, Manno played a great ball in for Steve ‘Martin to hit a low shot into the bottom corner for his 2nd goal in 2 games, 1-0.

Bengeo were offering little in attack and County were streaming forward with Kofi having his best game I had seen in a County Hall shirt (obviously not counting his lino performances).

Ben was having a shaky game and kept kicking the ball out of play to help the injured player that was down (I couldn’t see him though), Jeremy told him to keep his head up and it will come. We couldn’t find the decisive 2nd goal and it was 1-0 half time.

Earoles knew this game was won and as Tiger couldn’t walk he decided to leave things as it was and Give Kofi another 10.

10 mins into the 2nd half County were 2-0 up, a hoof out of defence from Neil found Manno who played a square ball to Lee who hit a great first time shot which went into the top corner, you could here Lee (although it sounded like his wife) yelling get in, get in. After it had gone in Lee was seen skipping away in delight, that is a deffo £1 fine for the gayest celebration ever, 2-0.

Jeremy wasn’t having a great 2nd half and after he kicked the ball out for the 3rd time, Ben also offered some words of comfort and told him to keep his head up and it will come, great moment.

County were now in control and Fluff scored a 3rd with 20 mins to go to kill off the game, or so we thought, 3-0.

Bengeo then got a consolation goal with 15 mins remaining; it was a well hit shot from the right, 3-1.

Then with 10 mins remaining Neil did an awful clearance which went straight to Bengeo and eventually went off for a corner. From the resulting corner the ball went to the back post and as Neil and Ben tackled each other, the player rammed it home from a tight angle, deffo my fault, 3-2 and County were wobbling.

From the kick off the ball was hit forward the number 5 went round Brooksey who couldn’t make a challenge, he then went round Snails who wouldn’t make a challenge and slotted home for a great individual goal, 3-3 and County were more than wobbling, they were hanging on in disbelief.

County eventually clung on for a point when we should have killed the game off earlier. That point moved us up to 4th until Hertford Celtic somehow beat White Lion 6-1 to move up to 4th above us on +4 goal difference (Stewards inquiry on that one).

Not a great finish to the season whereby we lost 2 and drew 1 of our final 3 games, but another satisfactory season and we can all look forward to pre season in July and getting back to our normal selfish Saturday afternoons. Oh yeah deffo £1 fine for anyone who cant get into the XL shorts next year, I think the whole back 4 should pay up now.

As there were a few people missing today with some interesting excuses I have compiled a Top 10 excuse chart for the season with an award to be given at the end of season drink up (I think a Rusty Nail should do it): My table and therefore my choice is final.

1) Snails – For missing a midweek game whilst Sarah went to Pilates
2) Ben – For missing a game whilst Sharon had her hair cut
3) Fluff – For missing most of the season due to his nutty ex bird
4) Butler – For moving out of his ex birds house after 4 weeks
5) Stevie J – His phone was broken and therefore not allowed out
6) Manno – 60 birthday at Butlins
7) Kofi – For studying for his GSCE’s (I think he failed didn’t he)
8) Barry - For going on a Sun £9.99 holiday (can we call it a holiday?)
9) Brooksey - For breaking his beautiful face & then cheekbone
10) Whitey - For somehow managing to break a rib with all that protection

I would have given it to Ben as the haircut is much worse as it was a Saturday, but as Snails said to Earoles ‘leave it with me’ and then rang back 1 hour later after losing a huge row, he has to be the winner.

Answers to Question 1:

Question 1:
Players were missing = Darren Willson
Some had gone away = Barry
Some had just gone = Earoles
Some weren’t allowed out = Stevie J
Some were shopping = Tony